The past several months I have become more frustrated with my life and the loneliness I have experienced for so long. I am (and probably always will be) an extremely independent person who likes her own space and gains energy from activities done alone, but lately I have come to believe that this independence I have developed is working against my desire to be with someone, and that with time, it will become harder to be in a romantic relationship. The sole purpose of my life is not to find that special someone, but a true desire of my heart is to fall in love, get married and have children. I would love to be a mother. It seems as though family, friends, church and the media place such an emphasis on relationships, but, the truth is, God's plan for some people is to live a life of singleness. With a culture that gives so much attention to relationships, it is hard not to always wonder if someday I will get married. A life of singleness is a reality that I need to be aware of, because that may very well be the path my life could take. Yes, I want to get married someday, but I'd rather not spend my time "waiting" for something that isn't guaranteed to come. I don't need a marriage to have a complete life, but it is hard to have a happy life when deep desires, like that of getting married, are never fulfilled.
My heart is open for love and will most definitely welcome someone who may come into my life, but I don't want to be this woman who sits moping and waiting for a man! I have been single (and patient) for almost 23 years, and I will continue to live my single life doing what makes me happy. If God's plan for me is to get married, he will bring that man into my life at the right time. As one who has never had a boyfriend, I think that the first man I date will be the one I marry. To no offense to anyone, I'd rather not waste my time dating someone with which I don't believe I'll spend the rest of my life.
These are my current thoughts on my single life; I'm not looking for words of encouragement, as those words would most likely refer to a future with a man...antagonizing my view of a possible future of singleness. I only want my thoughts to be known.
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
I need to keep delighting :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Allie, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I truly enjoy getting to know you better. I had a blast with you on Ragbrai. I wish it would have lasted another week! Have fun riding in Oklahoma.
ReplyDeleteLove